Monday, December 11, 2006

Week 95

0.6lb loss!

I'll take that and be very happy with it. To be honest, I thought I might have gained another half pound this week. Christmas nibbles are starting to appear all over the place. In fact I have a Christmas lunch with some business colleagues this afternoon.

And last Thursday was the final class of the Philosophy Evening Course I was teaching, so Maggie made a chocolate cake for me to take in. It went down exceptionally well.

At this time of year I'm more than happy not to have made a gain. Maybe I'll get through Feastmas yet without going back over the 13 stone mark...

Starting Weight: 19st 9lb – 275lbs
Current Weight: 12st 10.8lb – 178.8lbs
Body fat: 23.3%
Total Weight Loss: 96.2lbs

I had way too much to eat at that Christmas lunch. So much, in fact, that I was in serious discomfort. Gone are the days when I could eat 3 large courses and not suffer. In a pleasant Scottish hotel with a menu thrust under my nose, the patterns in my brain laid down from the days when I was 275lbs, became the path of least resistance. Suddenly I'm ordering food with abandon.

The starter itself - a large bowl of cullen skink with a bread roll - would have been slightly more than I usually have for lunch on its own. Halfway through the main course I'm aware that I'm already full, but I'm not going to stop. And hey, it Christmas! There's no way I'm not having a pudding, no matter how large it is or how stuffed I feel.

...must... have... shortbread... with... coffee... ...

Stupid, stupid, stupid.

I felt ill, yet completely unable to stop myself.

I didn't have dinner - still far too full - and had a lighter breakfast than usual this morning.

I'd like to think I won't be that stupid again for a while, but in this month there are no guarantees.


ArleneWKW said...

A philosophy prof and I'm just now finding out! My favorite description of the subject: "a blind man searching in a dark room for a black cat that isn't there." Phil. was my undergraduate minor. At friggin 60, I find myself pondering the same unanswerable questions. (I mostly took a break from this during my child rearing years.)

Homemade chocolate cake, yummmmmm!

A .6 pound loss, yaaaaaaaay!

Kim Ayres said...

If a tree falls on a mime and no one sees it, does anyone care...? is another good one.

You should pop over to my main blog - Ramblings of the Bearded One sometime - there's all sorts of odd things you might discover:)

fatmammycat said...

We all have blow outs, but at least you recognise it for what it is and adjusted accordingly with your other meals. Don't be too hard on yourself.

Anonymous said...

I hate eating until I feel sick. It might seem like a good idea at the time (that stuff is SO yummy!), but the regret outweighs the gratification for me. Thanksgiving was a good test of this. I didn't overdo and realized that I enjoyed what I had all the more.

But it takes a major mental shift to do that....

Kim Ayres said...

Thanks for the support FMC

Sayre - the regret always outweighs the gratification, but at the point the food is in front of us, the brain blocks out the memory of the intensity of any previous regrets and tells us that this time it will be fine.

One of the hardest things to deal with is the fact that my brain & body lie to me.

Twisted Cinderella said...

I have made a lot of bad diet decisions this week, I really need to get it under control if I want to get through this season with my weight still under control.

Kim Ayres said...

It gets harder and harder at this time of year. Don't beat yourself up too much or, if you're anything like me, you'll only turn to more food for comfort.