Monday, July 30, 2007

Week 128

1lb gain.

Bollocks.

What upsets me about this is it means I've dropped back a pound from the 100lb mark.

So, what are my excuses this week? - left over treats from my wife's birthday weekend last week for one thing. And these cold Autumn nights we've been having through July means the temptation to light the fire and snuggle up on the couch with a large hot chocolate has been too much to resist a couple of times.

But bloody hell it's been a struggle this month. In the past 3 weeks I've put on 4lbs. There are things that have been going on in our lives that I cannot blog about, but have taken a real emotional toll. And when the emotional pain is there and the edible medication is there in the house it becomes a constant battleground trying not to give into it.

And that is what most of it is about now. It is not bad habits, ignorant food choices, unhealthy snacking or greed. It's the battle with feeling low, sad, depressed, fearful, horrified and too little control over the things that affect our lives. When these feelings hit, the choice is to experience them full on, or do anything to try and ease the pain for a few moments. At that point, worries about putting on an extra pound seem so insignificant.

Until the next Monday morning when I stand on the scales and berate myself for those times when I chose the temporary easing of the pain. I don't even get to praise myself for the many times over the week when I didn't give in.

As has been said before, in the end it's not about how hard the battle is, it's only the final result that gets counted.


Starting Weight: 19st 9lb - 275lbs
Current Weight: 12st 8lb - 176lbs
Body fat: 23.2%
Total Weight Loss: 99lbs

7 comments:

Sayre said...

I can relate. I seem to be stymied too, at the moment by things outside the blog-o-sphere. And the weird thing is that my eating habits haven't really changed much - I'm still making healthy choices, but my exercise has slacked off a bit.

Speaking of which, I'd better go take the dog for a walk...

Next week will be better - for both of us!

Kim Ayres said...

Let's hope so :)

S William said...

I feel your pain. I had a gain week last week and it really set me back mentally. Hang in there and push harder.

ArleneWKW said...

Oh Kim, I so much know what you're going through. Use me as your bad example if it will help you. Battling a regain which had reached 6 pounds about my 65+ pound loss has been extremely difficult. I think I know how hard it is for you now and I hope hope hope that you'll get it under control quickly.

Weight-Trimmer said...

Hang in there. I too have had a set-back of late. Its tough. You are still in a good position and get to celebrate losing the one hundreth pound again. Good luck. Cya next week.

Half Man said...

Kim, resist the urge to throw in the towel. It's amazing how that number on the scale can affect us so deeply. Think of all that you have accomplished aside from the mere number on the scale. Look in terms of health benefits, looks, mental benefits, etc... You have accomplished a lot. You have been an inspiration to me. I know you can get through this.

Kim Ayres said...

Thank you all for your support and kind words. Fortunately circumstances seem to be moving forward, and that's reflected in the fact that my eating has been less of a battle this week.

Weight trimmer - good to see you back :)