Week 99

0.2lb loss!!!

What the...

I was awake early this morning, so long before Maggie and I had our weigh-in I wrote a piece containing all my excuses for putting on more weight this week - so much for lines in the sand, the problems of out of control cravings following a fortnight of eating fattier, saltier and sugarier foods etc.

I was completely and utterly expecting to have put on weight this week; the only question was going to be how much.

And yet, here I am, 0.2 lbs lighter than last week. I do not understand.

There are 3 possibilities, one of which involves benign deities, so perhaps there are only 2.

The first is that my metabolism has speeded up with all the extra food, so I am in fact burning up more than usual. I know the metabolism can slow down when you reduce your food intake, so this might be a possibility.

The other is that it's not been as bad as it seems in my head. The reality is that while there have been at least 3 evenings of pure gluttony I probably still don't eat as much as I did in the days before the change in lifestyle, and I've been almost angelic through the daytime.

Could it be a combination of metabolism and an over inflated sense of what I've eaten, or has the same God that allows war, death, famine, torture, tsunamis, earthquakes, hurricanes and daytime soap operas taken time out of His busy schedule to allow me to eat a bit of extra chocolate and not pay the consequences?

Hmmm...


Starting Weight: 19st 9lb – 275lbs
Current Weight: 13st 1.2lb – 183.2lbs
Body fat: 24.0%
Total Weight Loss: 91.8lbs

Week 98

4.8lb gain!

Oh for F***'s sake.

I knew I'd put on a few pounds, but 5? This takes me up over the 13 stone mark and places me back where I was at the beginning of November.

Sigh

OK, I know this is the gorging season but I've tried to at least be aware of what I'm gorging. However, it's been the evening eating that has really taken its toll as old habits of out-of-control eating have returned.

By saying to myself "Hey, it's Christmas! It's OK if I eat snacks while watching TV or DVDs in the evening" I've set myself up to fall straight back into one of my worst battlegrounds. Not only is the evening the worst time of day to be eating, but it's when my resolve is at its lowest and trigger foods set off binges that can only end in feeling ill.

But no more. I draw a line in the sand right here and will not be moved! Today I return to a healthier way of being!

What's that? Maggie's going to make bacon and French Toast using a brioche loaf for lunch? And she's still got some goose fat left to cook the roast potatoes in for dinner tonight?

OK, tomorrow I draw a line in the sand and will not be moved...


Starting Weight: 19st 9lb – 275lbs
Current Weight: 13st 1.4lb – 183.4lbs
Body fat: 24.1%
Total Weight Loss: 91.6lbs

Week 97

0.4lb gain

Hmmm.

I'm wary of that figure. I find it very difficult to believe I put on less than half a pound in this past week. I can only assume my body isn't showing up yesterday's over indulgence to the point of feeling ill yet.

My guess is it will show itself next week, along with many more goodies needing to be eaten over the next 7 days.

And yet, and yet... you know after yesterday I find myself craving fresh vegetable soup for lunch. Which I will probably have before tucking into a whole pile of things I shouldn't.

Much as I love this time of year, it's a nightmare for the health conscious. I mean, if you were weaning yourself off cigarettes, it would be a hell of a lot harder if there was a major smoking festival every year that everyone celebrated and was sponsored by all the big tobacco companies.


Starting Weight: 19st 9lb – 275lbs
Current Weight: 12st 10.6lb – 178.6lbs
Body fat: 23.5%
Total Weight Loss: 96.4lbs

Week 96

0.6lb loss!

Woohoo!

After last week's lunch, a scone while out with Maggie during the week and flapjack in a cafe with the kids yesterday, not to mention the occasional nibble of extra bits here and there, I was truly expecting to have put on, rather than lost half a pound.

However, other than these bits I acknowledge, I have been staying on track. Gone are the days when if it all went pear shaped at lunchtime then I would write off the day, or if I blew it on Friday then I could kiss goodbye to the weekend.

One of the most powerful mindset shifts has been the idea that if I over indulge on one meal, I can immediately get back on track with the next. I'm no longer feeling the self loathing at having over-eaten, that the rest of the day (or week) is spent stuffing my face in a way that is almost self abuse and punishment.

Statistical Significance: It's week 96 and I've lost about 96 pounds. I don't imagine the numbers of weeks and weight are ever likely to coincide again.


Starting Weight: 19st 9lb – 275lbs
Current Weight: 12st 10.2lb – 178.2lbs
Body fat: 24.1%
Total Weight Loss: 96.8lbs

Week 95

0.6lb loss!

I'll take that and be very happy with it. To be honest, I thought I might have gained another half pound this week. Christmas nibbles are starting to appear all over the place. In fact I have a Christmas lunch with some business colleagues this afternoon.

And last Thursday was the final class of the Philosophy Evening Course I was teaching, so Maggie made a chocolate cake for me to take in. It went down exceptionally well.

At this time of year I'm more than happy not to have made a gain. Maybe I'll get through Feastmas yet without going back over the 13 stone mark...


Starting Weight: 19st 9lb – 275lbs
Current Weight: 12st 10.8lb – 178.8lbs
Body fat: 23.3%
Total Weight Loss: 96.2lbs

UPDATE
I had way too much to eat at that Christmas lunch. So much, in fact, that I was in serious discomfort. Gone are the days when I could eat 3 large courses and not suffer. In a pleasant Scottish hotel with a menu thrust under my nose, the patterns in my brain laid down from the days when I was 275lbs, became the path of least resistance. Suddenly I'm ordering food with abandon.

The starter itself - a large bowl of cullen skink with a bread roll - would have been slightly more than I usually have for lunch on its own. Halfway through the main course I'm aware that I'm already full, but I'm not going to stop. And hey, it Christmas! There's no way I'm not having a pudding, no matter how large it is or how stuffed I feel.

...must... have... shortbread... with... coffee... ...

Stupid, stupid, stupid.

I felt ill, yet completely unable to stop myself.

I didn't have dinner - still far too full - and had a lighter breakfast than usual this morning.

I'd like to think I won't be that stupid again for a while, but in this month there are no guarantees.

Week 94

0.4lb gain.

A few extras, not enough activity. Sounds about right.


Starting Weight: 19st 9lb – 275lbs
Current Weight: 12st 11.4lb – 179.4lbs
Body fat: 24.4%
Total Weight Loss: 95.6lbs

Week 93

0.8lb loss!

I'm pleased with that. What with this stinking cold all week and the fact that when I went down to Chesterfield to see my Dad at the weekend, my eating was a bit dodgy, I was fully expecting to stay even or possibly put on half a pound or something.

However, as has become the way, even when we do relent and have fish & chips, we stop there and don't let the eating spiral out of control. The next day we're straight back on it.

The cravings haven't been anything like as bad as a few weeks back. It seems that crawling through that period of a couple of weeks of intense cravings, but not giving in to them, has paid off and it has become easier again.

Maggie is on a serious drive at the moment. Although I don't mention her often on this blog, and I will never post her weight, the fact is that we've been doing this together. And while I have lost 96lbs since we began, she has also lost 93lbs. Between us we have lost an entire overweight adult.


Starting Weight: 19st 9lb – 275lbs
Current Weight: 12st 11lb – 179lbs
Body fat: 23.9%
Total Weight Loss: 96lbs

Week 92

0.8lb loss!

Still on the way down. I'm firmly under the 13 stone mark and, for those who prefer their measurements purely in pounds, I am now (just) under the 180lb mark.


Starting Weight: 19st 9lb – 275lbs
Current Weight: 12st 11.8lb – 179.8lbs
Body fat: 23.6%
Total Weight Loss: 95.2lbs

Week 91

1.6lb loss!

Hey hey hey! We're cruising! All that resistance to the cravings is paying off again. 2 weeks weight loss in a row and I am now definitely under the 13 stone mark!

I'm now only 5.6lbs away from the 100lb loss. I think it's unlikely I'll reach it before the gluttenous season arrives, and if I do, I won't stay there for long, so it could be well into next year before I confidently cross that barrier. But the better I do this side of Feastmas, the less far I'll have to travel on the other side.

Feeling good.

And...

Statistical Significance:
I was doing a rough calculation the other day when I suddenly realised that when I crossed the line of losing more than 91.6lbs (4 weeks ago), I had actually lost 1/3 or my original bodyweight.

I am now 2/3 of the man I used to be!


Starting Weight: 19st 9lb – 275lbs
Current Weight: 12st 12.6lb – 180.6lbs
Body fat: 24.5%
Total Weight Loss: 94.4lbs

Week 90

1lb loss!

A week of crawling up the walls, frequently curling up in the foetal position, and periodically trying to chew my own tongue off rather than submit to the cravings seems to have paid off with a 1lb loss, barely a couple of ounces away from the 13 stone mark.

I'd like to think that there will come a time when I'm not bothered by cravings for perhaps months at a time. But there are times that it feels like the rest of my life will be spent wanting an extra portion, fighting with myself over whether to have a scone if I'm out for a coffee, and eyeing up my children's desert while slavering into my beard.

Is there anyone out there who can truthfully tell me that there will come a time when the cravings will completely disappear?


Starting Weight: 19st 9lb – 275lbs
Current Weight: 13st 0.2lb – 182.2lbs
Body fat: 24.5%
Total Weight Loss: 92.8lbs